Innocence

Innocence

That precious commodity

Is coveted

Makes people

Spit

With Envy

Makes them

Rage

With Jealousy

Cry

With Frustration

They want

Your downfall

Your suffering

But they don’t have innocence

Will never have it

Have never had it

Can never have it

Innocence is the most coveted

Of all things

If you have it

They will try to take it from you

By force

If necessary

They may succeed

To a point

But only to a point

You will take it back

Get money on the empties

They owe you

Always be owing you

And will pay in full

In the end.

But in the meantime,

Their ‘I OWE YOU’

Is imprinted in their souls.

And they have to pay it back

Sometime

Soon

A Hundred Fold

Can’t forget them

Well then,

Just forgive them

For they know not what they do

Sincerely

Truly

Forgive

Just do it

To free yourself

And you will free everything else up

In your life

And be astounded

By your progress

God will do the rest.

Bad Boy

He wants a front row ticket

To my destruction

He’s a broken mirror

Seven years bad luck

But I murdered the feelings inside

Chopped off their heads

They ran around

Like headless chickens for a while

Then dropped down dead.

My Cup Overfloweth

I have everything I need

God has given it to me

In abundance.

I want for nothing.

Yet, I have still been unhappy

Plagued by petty worries

And by what I deem to be important

But none of it isn’t, really

Not in the big scheme of things

What we cannot change

Situations

Circumstances

Current concerns

Nightmares

Sleepless Nights

Fears and insecurities

Trappings

We should accept them all

And not fight them, at all

Because everything changes

It’s the nature of the world

I have felt trapped in the past

But realised

Those times were actually the happiest in my life

But I didn’t see it.

Couldn’t

Wouldn’t

Some people say

No rest for the wicked

I say,

No rest for the blessed.

So much to be grateful for.

If we would only look

Take away the veil

From our eyes

And see

Hindsight is twenty twenty

But all we can do

Is learn from our mistakes.

When the grass is mowed right down

That’s when you will see the flower buds.

When the night is obtuse

That’s when you will see

The light transparent.

Sometimes,

When you feel trauma

You’re closest to peace.

Or realisation

To the fact

That it is time

To start appreciating yourself

And look at what you actually have.

As opposed to what you want

Or think you need.

Find the Lion’s Courage

That you didn’t know you had.

We don’t know what we have

Until we no longer have it.

So be mindful

And vividly imagine losing all that you have now

Absolutely everything, imagine.

So that you will be so grateful for what you do have.

If you think nothing good happens to you

Look in the detail

In the small things

The small things are what you ultimately need

And appreciating them will make the small things big

Not just in these dark times

But in all times

Never lose sight of your gratitude

And for all the wonderful things

That have happened to you

And are happening to you

And will happen to you

For there will be many

Among the chaos of life.

May Your Cup Overfloweth.

The Sun Will Shine Again…Soon.

The sun will shine again…soon

And then we will be happy

But we could happy right now

Instead of looking to some future day or time…

…that will ALLOW us to be happy.

If only…

if only this, that, or the other could happen/come true

THEN I’ll be happy

But no,

We only fool ourselves

If we cannot be happy

With what we have right now.

We will never be

So the sun will not shine again…soon.

It shines now.

Tier 3

Tears before bedtime

And Tears before tea

Tiers before lockdown

Tiers- one, two, three.

Tears, it will all end in

And Tiers they will make

Tears on my face

And not Tiers on a cake.

Tears like raindrops

Tiers are rules

Tears for release

And Tiers for fools.

Tears show we love

Tiers – our cage

Tears make us fear

Tiers keep us ‘safe’

Tears are emotion

Tiers leave us cold

Tears of our youth

Tiers getting old

Tears with friends

Tiers alone.

Tears with lovers

Tiers- at home.

PreLockdown Tension

Prelockdown tension

Is too tight to mention

It doesn’t make me sore

I’ve been here before

We’ve all been here

We know the drill

But prelockdown tension

Is making me ill

Actually it’s not.

It’s quite okay

I’m thinking I’ll

Get through it

In the usual way

It’s all about compliance

It’s just like the first one

It’s not rocket science

It’s not a big con

And wash your hands of course

I know that you do

As England goes into

Lockdown Version 2

We know we won’t put up

much of a fight

As we all turn into pumpkins

At midnight.

Don’t Feed Negativity

Don’t feed negativity

Don’t even give it scraps

Stay focused

Even in misery

And doubt

Don’t put out the cat

Instead put negativity out

Then close the door

Lock it

Chain it

Whatever you do,

Don’t let it back in

Even if it begs

On the step

Outside

And complains of

Hunger and thirst

And moans gently

Every hour

On the hour

Don’t even think

About the creature

You threw out

As it frantically claws at your panes.

Eventually, it will give up

And move on.

And wander through dry, arid places

And latch onto

To another

Who is open

And addicted

To the pain

As you once were

Let them feed it.

For they’ll know

Soon enough

If it fits in

With their life

And can sleep on their hearth

By the fire

Warming itself

And getting

Lots of treats

For being bad.

There’s no snug den

For it here anymore

Don’t Feed Negativity.

Writers and Artists

Sometimes we don’t know

Who we are

Or what we want

Or where we’re going

Or how to get there

And if we get there

We don’t know where to go

Or what to do

Or how to do it

Don’t leave a trail of breadcrumbs

Or try to get blood from a stone

Instead, blaze a trail

From your pen or pencil

To help you find your way home.

Feel Good Movie

Don’t worry what people

Think of you

It’s an obstacle

To your goals

And your life

Step outside

And look in

To get perspective

And peace

To feel that you can go on

Life is like a movie

So sit and watch yours

With objectivity

And amusement

And don’t get drawn into

The tangled web

Of negative emotions

That can bind you

Your life movie

Doesn’t have to be

A weepie

Or a horror

Make it a thriller

Full of excitement

Make it a comedy

Full of laughter

Make it a mystery

Full of anticipation

Make it a romance

Full of love.

Five Books I’m Reading At The Moment

Richard – A Novel

by Ben Myers

This is an interesting choice for me because I was never into The Manic Street Preachers and I didn’t even know the story about Richard Edwards, the group member who went missing the day he was meant to start an American tour with his band. He was a sensitive, deep thinking young man who had developed anorexia in his teenage years, plus he had a drinking problem and was self harming. He disappeared on 1st February 1995 and was declared dead 23rd November 2008, even though a body was never found.

This is a fictionalised account of his life and disappearance, which again, I wouldn’t sign up for normally. I had bought it thinking it was a factual account. (I should wear my reading glasses before buying a book in a dark bookstore next time)!

However, my disappointment faded as I read the book. The author states that he has attempted to keep things as factual as possible, while writing the novel. He’d obviously done some research, but it stands up on its own, as an interesting fictional autobiography of a distressed and alienated young man, who has fallen foul of the trappings of fame. You can’t help but get completely absorbed in his life, however depressing that can sometimes be and there is also that question mark at the end. Did he die, commit suicide, disappear to start a new life or what? Perhaps we’ll never know, but I’m enjoying the novel regardless.

Memoirs of a Mangy Lover

by Groucho Marx

Another strange choice I suppose. I thought, why not, I’ve always liked the Marx Brothers and Groucho was particularly witty. This is not politically correct. At the same time time, he’s a lot more gentler than say, Jim Davidson, but who wouldn’t be, in comparison? This is my light breakfast read, although that’s not to say you don’t have to sometimes think twice after his jokes, to fully get the punchline. It’s surprising how innocent he sometimes sounds when he relates his stories about women, dating, Hollywood, family, friends, colleagues, money, embarressing situations, dinner parties and a whole host of other subjects. And it’s actually surprising how some of his ‘sketches’ are akin to Billy Connolly’s observational and anecdotal comedy. A 1930’s non-Scottish, non-swearing Billy Connolly.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

by Paul Torday

I don’t know what the cover looks like because there wasn’t one on this £1 second hand book, but it did have an nice integral bookmark and I’m always running out of bookmarks, especially when I have five books on the go. There’s a lot more detail in the book compared to the movie, obviously, but it stays fairly close to that line, and conveys the deep loneliness and boredom and also narrow mindedness of the character Dr. Alfred Jones and subsequent awakening. It’s based on a true story apparently and the book is punctuated throughout by letters, memo’s and emails between the characters, and also, House of Commons transcripts. It’s quite a political novel, gently spiced with a smouldering, yet not-quite-there romance.

The Best Of Jules Verne

There are three book in one. ‘Journey To The Centre Of The Earth’, ‘Eighty Days Around The World’ and ‘Clipper In The Clouds’. I’ve read ‘Journey to The Centre of the Earth’ many times and other Jules Verne novels but not the other two in this book. This weighty tome has very many full page ink drawings, evocative of the Victorian era and story narrative. I don’t need pictures to enjoy a book but this one definately adds something special to the reading experience.

Hans Christian Anderson

I’m reading a collection of his fairy tales. I’ve always been enchanted by his stories reflecting the human condition and by his sometimes tragic, and some might say, realistic endings. This hardbacked 50p book attracted me by its cover and was originally given away with a newspaper I think. The ‘Little Mermaid and ‘The Ugly Duckling’ are my favourites.