Today, I noticed a ginger spider sitting on my kitchen worktop hugging a lemon pip. I had squeezed lemons the night before and one pip must have popped out and I hadn’t noticed it. The worktop colour is very similar to the pip colour. Anyway, I blew on Ginger to see if Ginger was alive. Usually when you breathe on insects or spiders, they run for the hills, or dance in the breeze (of your breath). Ginger didn’t move. Is Ginger dead, I thought, or is Ginger just playing dead? I blew on Ginger again and once more for good luck. Nothing. Ginger didn’t move, neither did the pip. Are you calling my bluff? Maybe if I go away and come back again, you might not be there. I decided I would give Ginger some space. Like when a tree falls in a forest and nobody is there, would Ginger leave while no-one was there to experience Ginger’s leaving? So, I went away for a decent amount of time, about fifteen minutes, and when I returned, Lo and Behold, Ginger was indeed gone and so was the pip! Ginger took the pip and fooled me good and proper, called my bluff. Of course, it could have gone two ways for Ginger. She/he could have been bludgeoned to death while he/she played dead, or was carelessly and fatally scooped into the sink, or into a dustbin. Ginger could have met with several horrible deaths, but instead, trusted fate, took a chance, took a risk and played dead, and it paid off. A lesson to us I think. And Ginger and Lemon do go together.
Category: Miscellaneous
Translation Errors
Displayed on a fence in a wild duck sanctuary in Vietnam, ‘Please Be Afraid Of The Rabbit’
There was also another sign which said, ‘Take nothing but memories, leave nothing but footprints, kill nothing but ducks.’
In the Far East,
‘Drink here, if not wishing to die yet.’
‘Guests note, there will be a fire on Monday but not to worry.’
‘Please walk in a dangerous way’ I’m sure we’ve all done this at some point.
‘Make room for the psychos’ (discovered in a carpark)
‘There are no naked men here’ (on a restaurant door)
Darn it!
Translation errors sourced from Chris Pascoes Fun Tales, Signs Of Madness, My Weekly
100 Followers
Just discovered I now have a hundred followers. It’s taken me a while to get here, slow and steady I always say, oh yes. Thank you followers, likers and readers, I really do appreciate the support. You are very kind and generous and beautiful. I have much to learn and a long way to go, in this warm, friendly and talented community. I’m looking forward to this journey with you. Thank you again.
Less Is More With You
I love you
Because you’re unexpected
Unpredictable
Just salty enough
Tangy enough
I spread you close
Lather you up
Against the butter
Against the toast
But not too much
Less is more with you
You come finely housed in curvaceous glass
Not everyone likes you
But if they like you, they love you
And if they don’t like you, they hate you
And can’t stand the smell of you
Let alone eat you
Some people are taken in by your cunning disguise
They see you all brown and sticky and gooey and think
you are a chocolate spread
And then they eat you, one big mouthful
You’re a nice surprise or a nasty shock
Depending on your outlook and tastebuds
I once was a little frightened of you
And once, I hated you.
But now, I love you, Marmite.
Beaver or Diva?
I overheard a conversation on the tram this week between a man and woman. This is how it went:
WOMAN: (LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AND POINTING): She’s a diva.
MAN: (A LITTLE LOUDER): A beaver?
WOMAN: (A LITTLE LOUDER): A diva.
MAN: (MUCH LOUDER) A beaver?
WOMAN: (VERY MUCH LOUDER): No! A diva!
MAN: (VERY LOUD) What’s a diva?
WOMAN: (LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW AND POINTING): She is. (SIGHS & THEN QUIETLY) Oh, she’s gone now.
Things In My Head 