Missing You

I’m missing you, there’s a deep dark hole, right there, right here, in my grieving soul.

I miss you because you were bad for me, I am a masochist, that’s plain to see.

I’m missing you, with every fibre of my being, but the person you are, is not the person I’m seeing.

Time will heal, that’s what they say, but the time that’s passed, seems only one day.

‘With attachment comes suffering’, the wise say it too, but it’s the price of being human. What else can we do?

So let’s just say I’m over you and all your evil lies, I have said my last farewell and all my great goodbyes.

I won’t be missing you any longer, you are always in my heart. When I start to love myself, that’s when my life will start.

I’m In Love With Today

I’ll have rage on the rocks with a bitter twisted lemon

Peanuts in a bowl, to kill the hunger in my soul

There. That’s better. First one down the hatch. Now I’m starting to get the feeling that’s it’s not going to be such a bad day after all.

Put something on the jukebox, something tribal, incoherent, no sad songs, or weary ballads.

Won’t you join me in a vodka tsunami?

Let’s put the world to rights. Problems solved in a flash

over liquid lunch and liquid dinner

Let’s bring water to this desert

Let’s bring foliage sweet and green

Because this day is turning out to be a great day

Oh, look, there’s an oasis

Oh no, it’s just a mirage

Of time lost

And people wasted

Or is the other way round?

It’s a lovely day today, don’t you think?

Come on, it’s your round, make it a double, or a pint.

Something to soak up this dried up emptied out hallowed out I’m-spitting-feathers sponge

Nothing left to say

Nothing left to do

But celebrate

Because I don’t know about you…but quite frankly

I’m so in love with today right now.

I can see the bottom of the glass

And I don’t want to see the end of anything

So keep ’em topped up

‘cos it’s a wonderful day

Have I mentioned this? Oh, I have?

My memory’s not too good lately

God know why.

It’s a mystery.

Well, I’ll say it again

I’m in love with today

But I’m going to hate tomorrow.

-Sue Young

Evil Twin

I had known my evil twin had been around for a while. Strangers had been staring at me and whispering for years, looking terrified and disgusted at the same time, as if I’d done some unspeakable act.

Then one day, while buying some milk at my local store, I ran into the bitch. I was trembling and sweating as I hurried home. She was already sitting there, with her hand on my husbands knee. He looked happier than I’d ever seen him and somehow younger than usual. She was smiling in that confident, self assured way, that I’d never known when I looked into the mirror.

My husband stood up quickly.He was suddenly in a panic to see the two of us. If I’d have been gone any longer, maybe the unthinkable would have happened. It wasn’t a long haul to the bedroom. After he had calmed down a little and was up to speed on the situation, he went into the kitchen. “I’m going to make a cup of tea. (He’s British) We’ll sort this out when I get back.”

My twin approached me. Even though we were wearing the same clothes, hers somehow looked better.She walked like a model, shoulders back, head held high.

She read my mind. “I’m surprised he hasn’t seen the differences already. I love my life but you’re afraid of it. You’re weighed down with the cares of the world and closed off from the joys of it. You are always trying to squeeze into the smallest darkest space, like a mouse, in a hole.”

I ran to my defence, with a shrug. “I always thought I was okay.”

She chuckled. “Okay, yes. Nice, yes. If you had more balls like me, you’d be a Cinderella that actually went to the ball, instead of sitting at home, poking the coals.”

“Poking the coals is underrated.” I said. My husband returned from the kitchen. He downed his steaming hot tea in one go. (I don’t know how he does that).”Okay, which one of you is my wife?”

There was a silence. She looked at me as if to say, ‘He’ll never believe you. I’ve already done the ground work.” The only sound at that moment was my heart breaking as I looked at his kind and beautiful face.

If, by some supernatural event, I’d been forced to swap places and was now the evil twin, anything was possible. I did not have the confines of my other moral self to worry about. So now, I had only one decision to make. What unspeakable act should I commit first?

It was time to kill myself.

I moved towards her, staring at her lily white neck and flexing my bare hands. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with them. My husband jumped up and ran into my arms. I saw my evil twin visibly wither, until, with a contorted, twisted and bitter look on her face, she disappeared into thin air.

“She won’t be bothering us again.” he said.

I looked at him in surprise. “How did you know?”

“It was just one thing, one physical difference to show the true nature, the true condition of the soul, something that couldn’t be disguised, one thing she was unable to hide or deceive me by. It was the eyes.”


© Sue Young