Tag: Loneliness

Loneliness, suddenly.

Because I can’t hug people, I suddenly really want to hug people, and yet, I’ve never really been a people person. Maybe I will be after this.

And, because I can’t talk to people face to face…I suddenly want to talk to people. I never really thought about it too much before., the human touch, and how we all need it.

Today, while necessity shopping, a lovely lady of senior years, wearing bright blue plastic gloves greeted me with a cheery ‘Good Morning’, from across the road. That meant a lot. People will beat it somehow. They find a way. Suddenly, I was a dry sponge, that soaked up any water coming my way. Strange, how much it warmed my soul. I felt a connection, and again, just a minute later, a tattooed young man, all bristling muscles, in his front garden, hosing it clean, water flooding out his gate, touching the toes of my boots, said ‘Hello,’

Hello.’ I answered, and again, my mood lifted just a little, just enough to get through another day.

Social distancing maybe. Voice distancing? Na.

Again, that strange warmth…glow whatever. People find a way. They always find a way. Thank God.

The Game

I wrote the following verse a while ago, about ten years ago. This is how I felt at one time, but I don’t feel like this now. A wise friend said to me lately that our writing from the past is still valid, still important, simply because we felt like that at one time in our lives, so it’s still a part of us, and we shouldn’t dismiss it. (Thanks Mike. You inspired this post).

His advice got me into thinking that our past writings are like part of our photo albums. Would we cut photos out of our albums because they are no longer relevant? I’m sure some people do and have, but they are denying themselves their life story. It’s certainly a part of us we shouldn’t deny, as we need to know where we’ve been, in order to know where we’re going. We can learn from our writing from the past. What I’ve learned, is that hope is real and it does manifest. It’s very easy to feel that the future is bleak, and we may feel suicidal at times, I’ve had their number on my phone before today. www.samaritans.org 116 123 UK or Suicide Hotline.

The problem with suicide is, it’s short sighted. We can’t predict the future. However bleak things feel and how almost supernaturally impossible it is, to see past the darkness at times, the future, unbeknown to us, can hold untold wonders. Moments of this darkness will come back and try to prove us wrong I’m sure, but all in all, there’s nothing quite like looking back at bad times with a detached eye and thinking, things did get better, after all. Regardless of what unfolded, a time line of your happiness levels can be very useful.

Keep your old writings as a measure of how far you’ve come, and dip into them after several years have passed. It may trigger you to make important changes in your life. That snapshot, just like the snapshot in a family album, might finally allow you to see where you were in the past, where you are now and how far you need to go to achieve your hearts desires.

 

Life’s a lonely game

you shake the dice and your number comes up.

And in the aftermath of carnage

hope hides, a dream stirs, clinging to the dust

The devastation of the explosion

will only make you miss a turn

and you’ll have to go back –

five paces.

Well, you know, I don’t want to play on this board no more

Cos no one plays fair

I’m going to bed, turning in

Throwing in my hand

Too many snakes

Not enough ladders.

 

 

 

 

 

Where Does Loneliness Go?

Where does loneliness go

When it’s not in your heart?

Does it creep into your wardrobe

Does it stay under your floorboards

Until your heart starts to break again?

Where does loneliness go?

When it’s not wanted?

Does it sit and plan its comeback

A No.1 hit that will throw you off your feet

Punch you in the stomach and make you bleed all over the floor.

You don’t do that to people and get away with it.

So no wonder loneliness hides

With stealth and cunning

When you’re happy go lucky.

Where does loneliness go

When you’re not feeling alone?

Does it slither out of sight

Creeping in shame

A criminal that no-one wants to catch.

When it’s not grabbing hold of you

Does loneliness get lonely too?

 

© Sue Young