Love and Mashed Potatoes

I never knew mash could get me laid.

Did I fall in love with the iconic image of Paul McCartney when he was young and vibrant and known as the ‘cute one’ with the world’s best boy band, The Beatles, writing and creating wonderful melodies that would go down in history as some of the best songs in the world? No.

Did I fall in love with Paul McCartney, the family man, when he was older and wiser and off on his own, with the great seventies band ‘Wings‘ being successful and productive in another group? No.

Did I fall in love with Paul McCartney, as a solo artist, when he was having No.1 hits in the eighties and always on Top Of The Pops, when he still seemed possibly at his peak, when he’s absolutely still got it, when he’s still brilliant? No.

Or did I fall in love with Paul McCartney when I saw him making mashed potato in a You Tube video, ignoring all health and safety issues with reckless abandon. Yes.

Yes. I fell in love with him, there and then.

What did it for me, regarding the video was a) his childish enthusiasm b) his pure joy c) his naturalness and d) his complete disregard for culinary competence.

I suppose you could surmise that he has no need to seek perfection or indeed approval from anybody, therefore making mashed potato was no big deal.

He was so happy showing us how to make it. To this day, how he taught the viewers to cut an onion (as taught to him by Linda) is indelibly printed in my mind. I thought that was the sweetest thing, bringing his late and beloved wife into the proceedings.

Also, the way he sloshed scalding water about, almost giving himself a first or even second degree burn. How he held a very sharp knife, in a cutting position that could only result in several severed fingers.By a miracle – it didn’t. It was looking-through-your-fingers while-watching-a-horror-movie stuff.

In this video, he is like a little boy who never grew up and who has no intention, who loves his life the way it turned out, with no regrets. (I’m not mentioning any names).

So people might say, well, it’s obvious, with his money, lifestyle, success, talent whatever, he would appear joyful, whatever his endeavours. But his joy is the most natural unaffected thing.

He has this wonderful down to earth manner, that one would expect from a Northerner perhaps, especially a Scouser, but you may not expect someone of his accomplishments and fame to be like that, regardless of where they come from and that is hugely endearing.

I think the tip of the iceberg was when he started telling jokes.

I was shocked. Paul McCartney telling dirty jokes on YouTube. I mean no. It’s wrong. It’s just all wrong. He changed my perception of him. The contradiction is attractive. Men who look/seem a certain way should contradict it, by doing something completely the opposite to how you would expect them to behave. It messes with your mind so much. It causes distraction, a chink in the armour. Women take note. It might backfire if you contradict people’s perceptions of you but it might just give that hot guy in accounts something to think about. What? A hot guy in accounts? What planet am I on?  The planet where there are hot guys in accounts. That’s my kind of planet.

Mashed Potato and Reckless Abandon.

See what I did there? See the contradiction?

Respected British Superstar. Composed composer. Old enough to be our granddad, whatever age we are…telling dirty jokes. And yet it’s not gross. It’s kinda hot. It’s the way he tells ’em. It’s what he does with it. Maybe you had to be there.

That’s what my P.U.A should have done the other week. He should have made mashed potato very dangerously, almost scalding or cutting himself severely. Difficult in a library I know, but overcoming that obstacle only adds to the attraction.

If you put the ordinary with the extraordinary. i.e if you put Sir Paul McCartney with mashed potato, something amazing happens. It’s the key to the secret of the meaning of life, or how to get on in this awful and wonderful world.

If Paul kicks the bucket before me, a little part of me will die with him. So men take note, if you want a women to fall in love with you, just make mashed potato, totally balls it up and laugh it off when you do.

And tell dirty jokes like butter wouldn’t melt.

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