No-one ever told me
About midnight snacks
Sometimes late at night…
hunger attacks!
No-one ever told me
They only ever mutter
That you can put on pounds
If you eat a pound of butter
No-one ever told me
That calories can be empty
And sometimes they’re the very ones
That very often tempt me
No-one ever told me
That I could lose weight with ease
If only I could stop eating
All that chocolate and cheese
Dear Cheese,
I hope you will remember when we spent many sultry nights of melting passion together, under the grill. I do recall, I snuggled up to dill pickle in the serving hatch, but, you must believe me when I say, it meant nothing to me. Do you remember that everything went so well until that fateful night? Bacon came along and stole your heart. Don’t think I didn’t see you together in that burger bar. You lied to me. You told me you were a vegetarian.
How I cried and grew moist, then went limp. I had to sit in a colander for an hour, draining my tears. It takes all my energy to get my bony green ass from one side of the kitchen counter to the other these days. I am going off. I am perishing. I feel that these once proud florets will never feel your cheesy sauce again. I pray that you will see the error of your ways. Of course you knew your future did not belong in a bun with bacon and you took off.
What I can’t believe though, what really rocked my world, was when you went with the lettuce. I thought I was the boring one, but really, lettuce? You’re really scraping the bottom of the crisper now aren’t you? Is that my competition? Is that the best you can do? I mean lettuce and cheese don’t even go together, much. We were always a much more complimentary combination. Everyone said so. We went together like broccoli and cheese, because that’s exactly what we were. I am your destiny. Come to me, before I lose my mind completely and run away with the Bechamel.
Yours Faithfully,
Broccoli…not boring and certainly not as boring as lettuce.
P.S Cauliflower told me I was tasty. Look what you’re missing.
P.P.S Yes, take one last look Buster ! I’m outta here, on my slightly browning stem. Bechamel…hello…you are very pale and interesting these days…
© Sue Young
Things In My Head 