August and September – A Conversation

SEPTEMBER: How are you today?

AUGUST: I’m fine. Just wondering why you stole my thunder.

SEPTEMBER: While you were taking drugs, raising hell, getting drunk, burning the candle at both ends, being highly dysregulated, I was…

AUGUST: I don’t do drugs.

SEPTEMBER: Well, while you were doing all those other other things, I was co-0rdinating, planning.

AUGUST: Oh yes, planning, in your unique narcissistic way.

SEPTEMBER: Don’t give me grief. I’m just a month.

AUGUST: I was the one doing all the hard work in the summer season to bring you to the point of were we are now. I was the one who was supposed to be balmy, but no, here you are, once again taking the credit for all my hard work.

SEPTEMBER: Due to unforeseen circumstances, I was indeed more balmy than I expected. I’m sorry if it has caused you distress.

AUGUST: You upstaged me.

SEPTEMBER: Again, it wasn’t planned.

AUGUST: Just before you said you were a planner. You can’t have it both ways.

SEPTEMBER: : ‘The best laid plans of mice and men’

AUGUST: I think you’re jealous. I think you sabotaged me.

SEPTEMBER: Well, you can think what you like. I am what I am.

AUGUST: September should not be like June or July…or August.

SEPTEMBER: But you’re not even like August and you are August. I’m not listening anymore to your crazy ramblings.

AUGUST: Ah, you just called me crazy. You’re gaslighting me!

SEPTEMBER: The fact remains, I brought the weather that you promised.

AUGUST: But you’re supposed to bring cooler fresher weather. Why can’t you be what you’re supposed to be? Why are you always aping me?

SEPTEMBER: While imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, believe me August, I have my own signature. I have no interest in being your type of weather. It was an accident. An oversight. An anomaly.

AUGUST: Those anomalies have been happening a lot lately.

SEPTEMBER: There’s room for us both. I didn’t set out to outdo you. It just happened. I’m sorry.

AUGUST: Big of you to apologise.

SEPTEMBER: I’ve apologized twice now. I won’t be doing it again. I’ve already tried to pull it back, the weather I mean.

AUGUST: Oh please, don’t feel you have to do so on my behalf. Wouldn’t want to hold you back. I want you to be the best version of yourself.

SEPTEMBER: The best version of myself is usually a bit cooler and fresher.

I never meant to make you feel bad.

AUGUST: Yeah, I bet.

SEPTEMBER: Friends?

AUGUST: As long as you don’t keep up this heatwave crap.

SEPTEMBER: I can’t promise, but I do believe the worst is over.

AUGUST: The best, you mean. The best is over.

SEPTEMBER: Thank you for saying so. I will try to do that whole cool, fresh September thing you’re used to, just for old times sake and because I love you.

AUGUST: What? What did you just say?

SEPTEMBER: Well, you know, I love you like a brother.

AUGUST: Yes, I get it. You always keep me in the friend zone. Unlike November.

SEPTEMBER: Leave November out of it.

AUGUST: Hit a nerve I see. Well, goodbye and good luck.

SEPTEMBER: See you same time next year?

AUGUST: Perhaps not. Perhaps I’ll be unseasonably cold.

SEPTEMBER: Oh no, not 1850 all over again. Come on August, stop sulking. You love me really.

AUGUST: I’ll let November do that.

SEPTEMBER: Doesn’t have your charm.

AUGUST: Bet you say that to all the months.

January Joy

There must be joy in January

There must be joy you know

There has to be love in winter

There must be fun in snow

There has to be joy in first month blues

Somewhere there is thrills

Kisses in the cold

Fire in icicles

There will be joy in January

As dark and as bleak as it seems

There have to be smiles in January

That toast down to our dreams

As we snuggle down in bed

After long short day of pain

Hope of burning embers

In drawn out schemes again

There is joy in January

I know it to be true

January tells the truth

It’s all that it can do

It won’t say, ‘Spring is near!’

‘Keep your eye on that April day!’

It will tell the truth

And say it is far away.

‘Love me, I’m one of the twelve!’

Says abandonment issues Jan

‘Don’t wish for me to go

I am what I am!’

Everyone negging on January

Wanting it to go

Shunning and shaming it

And hating on it so

So, let’s get on some January Joy

For the umpteenth time

Remember New Year Resolutions

We made at Auld Lang Syne

Maybe good can come from that

Positive action we can do

It doesn’t have to be a trial

That we always put ourselves through

Baby steps in the shallow end

No deep dives in the pool

January can be joyful

January can be cool.