When times were tough
We took a bite
Out of our Scouse Dummy
This staple lunch
Was all we had
It was better than our mummy
It’s cheap and cheerful
Comes wrapped up nice
In paper bag and grease
Flaky pastry makes it tasty
You eat it on the streets.
Quite a small and meagre meal
Doesn’t get you fat
When mother wants to shut you up
she says, ‘Have a suck on that.’
It’s all you need to fill the space
That gnaws deep within your belly
‘Til fish and chips
Or beans on toast
In front of soapy telly.
(At this point there are two alternative endings to this poem, depending on whether you like the Sayers or Greggs Scouse Dummy and are environmentally attached or adhered to the area, or not. I pay homage to them both. Just as there are people in the same family who support different football teams, there are people in the same family who have different preferences for the same items of food, but in different eateries/snack bars. For the record, my personal preference is for Sayers).
What is this we eat, upon the hoof?
This golden rod of meaty dregs?
This Scouse Dummy is no mystery
It’s just a sausage roll from Greggs.
(And now for my personal favourite)…
What is this we eat, upon the hoof?
This golden rod of meaty layers
This Scouse Dummy is no mystery
It’s just a sausage roll from Sayers.
Things In My Head 