Scouse Dummy

When times were tough

We took a bite

Out of our Scouse Dummy

This staple lunch

Was all we had

It was better than our mummy

It’s cheap and cheerful

Comes wrapped up nice

In paper bag and grease

Flaky pastry makes it tasty

You eat it on the streets.

Quite a small and meagre meal

Doesn’t get you fat

When mother wants to shut you up

she says, ‘Have a suck on that.’

It’s all you need to fill the space

That gnaws deep within your belly

‘Til fish and chips

Or beans on toast

In front of soapy telly.

(At this point there are two alternative endings to this poem, depending on whether you like the Sayers or Greggs Scouse Dummy and are environmentally attached or adhered to the area, or not. I pay homage to them both. Just as there are people in the same family who support different football teams, there are people in the same family who have different preferences for the same items of food, but in different eateries/snack bars. For the record, my personal preference is for Sayers).

What is this we eat, upon the hoof?

This golden rod of meaty dregs?

This Scouse Dummy is no mystery

It’s just a sausage roll from Greggs.

(And now for my personal favourite)…

What is this we eat, upon the hoof?

This golden rod of meaty layers

This Scouse Dummy is no mystery

It’s just a sausage roll from Sayers.

3 comments

  1. I don’t really know what a Scouse Dummy is but given what I do know about British cuisine (sort of like American food, but with less cheese and more offal) I suspect I’m fortunate.

    Your poem has made me neither hungry nor curious, so I imagine you’ve captured the essence of Scouse Dummy.

    Liked by 1 person

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