Just me
And my feet
And my swag
In the heat
Just me
All alone
With the dreams
that I own
It’s a dance
of a kind
stripped down
and bare
Come walk
with me
Try a smile
if you dare
It’s a life
that I live
With my world
in a bag
I don’t have
a house
or a boat
0r a Jag.
It’s not a dance
or a girl
or a square
stable home
It’s the earth
and the sky
and the road
that I roam.
Just a waltz
down the lane
With the dust
in my eyes
Matilda and me
Have said
our goodbyes.
At different times
throughout the day
I hear some of you
before I see you.
At four in the morning
The charismatic herring gull
rudely awakens me
with his laughing, purring, mewling
His wife calls in the morning news
she heard it first before the rest.
Later on, raven parents
take the family out for meals
get into classroom circles
play, learn, love.
Blackbirds dance
hold worms in their beaks
like trophies.
‘See what I got! Aren’t I awesome?”
The shy, sweet tern
explores, wide eyed, hopeful
a little coquettish.
And finally,
dog eared and lumbering
basking in late summer evenings
like they have all the time in the world
wood pigeons
comfortable in their aged
iridescence.
Everyone danced around you
Made me dizzy
Intoxicated others
Like the maypole
Garlands were hung from you
Celebrating the joy of summer returning
But you transcended all seasons
Evergreen
Immortal
Maypoles are made of
Pine, birch, elm, ash
You are ash
And hold all the secrets of the dead
Maypole, you wrapped us tightly
In your beautifully coloured braids
Comforting, yet
Uneasy entanglement
Pleasing, yet
Troubled bondage
Soul ties promised
Safety and fun
But always at a price.
We all fell
As your ribbons unravelled
Hoping and praying
That when the maypole falls
Then comes June.
If I am beside myself
Then I am two
I don’t know why it is
I don’t know who
Who is beside me
And why are they sad
Who is this person
They are quite mad
Get behind me Satan
I don’t want you near
No tortured soul
Can loiter here
If I am beside myself
I want it all good
The person will be kind
And does what it should
Who is this being
Please go away
Unless you can hug me
I don’t want you to stay
Unless you can comfort
Unless you can smile
I need you to go
And run for a while
If I’m beside myself
I need them to love
No war is allowed here
Just the peace of a dove
So if you are twin
And you won’t go away
I have to accept
All of yesterday
I’ll make amends
Who is this that dares
You won’t go away
So I need you to care
I need you to merge
You can’t be beside me
You’re freaking me out
I need you to leave me
I won’t be beside myself
There’s no room anymore
There’s only space
For one on this floor
Time to melt into one
I got you sussed
This town ain’t big enough
For the both of us.
Tears are meaningful
Even Jesus Wept
Tears shed by and for ‘the little ones’
Young, old and in between
Tears cried by and for the gentle and lowly heart
Tears that flow for others
Are the currency of love.
The tree wasn’t feeling good
Come closer it said to the sun
I need you
The sun slipped behind a cloud
The tree scowled
You don’t love me
And then it rained
The tree drank deeply from the soil
And took water into its roots
And felt well again
The sun came out
from behind the cloud
and said to the tree
Still think I don’t love you?
The tree just smiled.
I saw the light
Shining off the amber pool
It seemed so right
Hops, mead and liquid fool
You’re a slug
You’re cold
You’re tired
You’re hungry
You’ve just spent several days
getting from the hedge
to the paving stone
And you are exhausted
Your children are hungry
They were crying when you left them
And what do you want right now?
What would make it right?
Cat food
Some kindly soul
Or careless cat owner
Or overfed cat
has left some
delicious, mouthwatering cat food
with a side serving of beer
The beer was either left by the cat
Or by one of the tall beings
who had poured the liquid on the ground
by mistake
Anyway, this ‘beer’ you like, is right by you
You’ve caught the scent
you are down that route
Second wind
you have found the strength to sliver down thereabouts
You are onto it
Life is good suddenly
You get that sometimes don’t you?
You know, when you dare to think that life is good?
That maybe, just maybe, the powers that be might favour you?
Or that the wind has changed direction
And you are no longer the scapegoat
The cursed
The person for whom sods law was invented
No bad luck tonight though eh?
Tonight, lady luck shines on you
You can smell the cat food
in all its horsey meatiness
Oh and the beer, the sugary, yeasty, malty, nutritious beer
Let’s go!
A light in the kitchen
Floods the paving stone
As I take my fill
I feel grateful
You think a slug can’t feel grateful?
Well, I do.
I’ve been on my butt for days
Slivering along
It was never ending
I thought I would go mad
So exhausted
But now everything
Just everything is okay
The universe has blessed me for once
me, a lowly working slug
Now after eating and drinking at the door of this
warm generous host, I will have the energy and means to feed my babies
Oh, wait, what’s that?
A bright light at the end of a big steel phallus
And at the end of that
a human
With a packet of something
Looming face.
Long body, legs, arms
Packet upturned
White stuff coming out of it
Is it snow?
It’s coming down
Upon my body.
I stop eating the delicious nutritious cat-food
It…it burns, this snow
Should snow burn?
I look up at the human again
They are smiling
If they’re smiling
It must be okay
But oh, it’s burning
It’s burning so bad
And they’re watching,
Waiting
Looking at me
So creepy
Oh, it burns
It burns so
And then I see
I am turning to liquid
My body is…
Pooling like blood
Oh, what are you doing to me?
Don’t!
Stop!
Please!
I am losing sensation
I look up and they are pouring more
Of what I thought was snowflakes
But now I realise must be a terrible poison
I don’t feel so good
That grin
It’s inside of me
They are
So pleased for my pain
They are happy for it
I’ve never felt pain like this
Help me
It’s agony
I can hear myself scream
Can they hear it?
They are grinning again
Grinning into my soul
Pouring down the snowflakes
the snow keeps pouring down
on my delicate skin
My body is seared
the snow is like acid on my skin
My body is water
The humans are happy
My kids…
I will not see them again
and now the human’s grin
also burns into me
It burns
It burns…
From the grasping hand
Sand will seep
The very thing
You want to keep
You can’t go home again
To whispered words
Or bitter accusations
To sibling fights of old
Either killing each other
Or playing hard until the sun goes down
They said it would all end in tears
But cuddles always stopped the crying
And then, sometimes
Parents in tennis matches
Bickering with the umpire
Getting caught in the net
Another day, of making ends meet
Ends either not quite touching
Or too far apart to be tied together
You can’t go home again
To things said or done
Or not said or done
To what could have been
But now, will never be
You can’t go home again
To the silence
And the cacophony
To the contradictory
And the hypocrital
To the elephant in the room
To the realisations you made
To the understanding you came to
You can’t come home again
To the wisdom that is now
It’s another time and place
Home is where you are
Right Now.
Things In My Head 