The Joy of November – Bonfires From The Past


In November, boys would come round in late September, early October
asking for wood for bonfires
And if they didn’t get enough
Sometimes people would find half their shed missing
You had to look after your wood at this crucial time
Treat it like gold
Teenage boys could sniff it out.
Wood, not gold
And there was nothing they wouldn’t do to get it.
It was great if you wanted to get rid of a cabinet
Old bookshelf or table
Then you wouldn’t have to pay someone to take it away
And they would be so happy
You would be doing them a huge favour
But unfortunately, we never had any wood waste
Wood was precious in our home
And my parents would hide from the wood boys
As if they were bailiffs
Turn off the lights and hit the floor
I never saw their joyful little faces as I handed over an old
dresser, or a hefty wardrobe, as we didn’t have any spare oak furniture
to needlessly burn.
These boys would find their own little turf for their bonfire
Have it planned for weeks, possibly months.
‘Bommies’ would be compared with other bommies in other
fields, in other territories.
Pride was taken
Our bommie is bigger than so and so’s,
Our bommie is going to be custy, sound…
The best for miles around
The best in Kirkby
Never understood why they said ‘Bommie’ instead of
‘Bonnie,’ or ‘Bonny’ as in Bonfire. Maybe I misheard and they were saying ‘Bonnie’ or Bonny’
There was a lot that was baffling in those days
And, you just let it go if you knew what was good for you.
Just let the ‘Bommie’ go into the ether. You’re ten years old, the
puzzlement of ‘Bommie’ is the least of your troubles.
I think there may have been mafia like mentalities in the bonfire world at
this time, perhaps boys may steal and sabotage from other ‘bommies’, publicly deride the wood mountain. ‘Our wood
mountain is bigger than yours.’ conversation. The evening
would begin as soon as it got dark. 4p.m is some cases.
It would generally be no later than 6, and that would be considered
delayed gratification. It would generally be all over by 8p.m.

Premature combustion.

Actually, some of the best bonfires would be held back for a little later. 8.30 p.m
but practically all bonfire people would be indoors by 10
p.m or thereabouts because bonfire night has a 5 in 7 chance
of being on a school night. Bonfires would consist of chairs,
tables, wardrobes, bed frames, old Tom’s wooden leg,
anything wooden that was available and probably some wood
that wasn’t. Furniture could be stacked ten, twenty feet high.
It was a creative process. Something fit for The Tate. Try stacking that amount of wood without it falling while retaining an amazing asthetic quality at the same time. Dame Tracey Emin would be proud.

The bonfires, once lit, would create a thick smog that began
at sunset and would hang around until about midday the next
morning. Not many people could afford expensive fireworks
where I lived as a child, so bonfires were the main thing. Most times it
was just a gang of juveniles in charge of a bonfire, but
sometimes whole families and communities would be
involved.
There was a dystopian air, around ten o’clock, long abandoned bonfires still smouldering away, the fog soup
of smoke blurring the night so bad, you couldn’t see your
hand in front of your face, the smell of a burning bombed city
pervading the air for miles around and a strange calm and
eerie silence, that you don’t experience on any other night of
the year. Meanwhile, the formerly impulsive and restless fourteen
year old boys, are now exhausted and slightly smoke
damaged and safely tucked up in bed.
Bangers, unlike sparklers, weren’t pretty but they were relatively cheap. All they did was make a noise like a loud bomb, like a really loud bomb and that was it.
Okay, the children said, that’ll do! That’ll do just fine.
Fireworks are a strange thing. It’s in the word. Hello. Fire.
Works. It says it all. Don’t let them near your pets and
children.
In the 1970’s, 1980’s and 1990’s, young people, i.e
children, were allowed to buy and handle these dangerous
and candy cheap explosives, without any adult supervision.

There were casualities and they would be reported in the newspapers on November the 6th.

I don’t think I’ve seen a
‘bommie’ since 1992, or thereabouts. In the economically
depressed area I grew up in, it was a good thing to have
‘bommies’. They brought the community together, it was
good for neighbourhoods who were able to bond through the
miracle of fire. It was much needed entertainment and light
relief from the daily slug.
As a child, the ‘bommie’ was something I
subconsciously desired and needed, pressing my face up
against the glass for a glimpse of blazing sun in the hopeless
night. Huge bonfires dancing and jumping like fiery Ents
with a troupe of black clothed, hooded teenage boys,
worshipping and dancing around the fiery maypole, like
warlocks, idolising a bonfire which, always seemed to be
about to burn out of control and sometimes did, and the fire
brigade would come out many times that night.
Fire.
Childhood.
A brutal innocence.

The Joy of the Tomboy

I would follow my brother and his friends around, like a
puppy. I didn’t know how to make friends. I was like a magpie in
that way, trying to acquire something I hadn’t earned. If friends
are real and have integrity and honesty, they are a lot more
precious than what the magpie sees shining out the corner of his
eye, and thinks, can I have a share in that?
I had followed my brother when he had gone to meet one
of his friends. I must have been about seven or eight. My brother
was a year older than me.
We sat cross-legged in a circle, triangle really, on a
grass verge. The friend said, as if I wasn’t there, ‘Why is she here?
Why can’t she stop following us? Why can’t she get her own
friends?’ That kind of thing.
I was a very quiet, shy sort of follower and I just clung to
them like a limpet, yet my brothers friend must have thought, and
rightly so, that I was cramping their style. I shouldn’t be there!

It didn’t start off that way, but it got tiring for them after a while,
quite understandably, ending up in a general
dissatisfaction with the status quo. I theorise, even at that early
age, my brother allowed it, dare I say, encouraged my trailing
along because he enjoyed the idolisation. Some older brothers
may gladly forgo all the intimacies of boyhood friendship, if the
baby sister becomes a public and ardent admirer.
I completely bought into that tomboy thing, whether it was
through sheer desperation to be accepted and belong to a group or
maybe I genuinely enjoyed playing football. Perhaps I’ll never
know but I loved getting covered in mud and grass and didn’t
mind cuts and bruises.
I do remember being a dirty tackler. My methods were
questionable. I must have been aware that I was female on some
level and could get away with some things, tackling wise, that the
others couldn’t, thus making any game I was in, unfair, but it was
generally just kicking around. During one kick around, I
remember I was at some friends/neighbours house and they had a
sprawling overgrown garden, with what seemed like dense
vegetation and a wild wood at the end, probably grossly over
exaggerated by an overactive and childish imagination.
At one point during the game, the ball went into the
overgrowth. I went in immediately to retrieve it and was pulled
back by one of the boys in the game. He looked at me in horror.
‘You can’t go in there.’ he said. ‘You’re a girl.’
This was a defining moment for me. I felt a myriad of
emotions all at once. I was afraid. I couldn’t work it out. Next
moment, I was arrogantly amused. I knew something he didn’t.
He was misinformed. Next moment, I was indignant, singed by
his prepubescent sexism, shocked and confused by his youthful
chauvinism.
Next moment, I felt disappointment, then bitter dismay
and lastly an inexplicable sadness. My life flashed before my eyes
in that instant. Limitation and femaleness seemed to suddenly be
inexorably linked. I knew I could have got that ball without any
harm or injury and I can’t remember whether I rebelled and went
in, or hung back, temporarily weakened by the fact that I was
someone who couldn’t go into a few bits of weeds and bushes to
retrieve a football.
Many years later, the event crossed my mind, but now all I
saw was concern in sincere and honest eyes.
He was looking out for me…maybe, maybe not. After all, he didn’t know me enough to genuinely care about me. It was probably all about social mores, either a natural protective instinct on his part or something he’d digested culturally in his young and tender years. He was genuinely alarmed at the idea that I should go and get that ball from the dense and thorny
undergrowth. I hadn’t met him before that day and I haven’t met
him since. He was just a kid and so was I.

The Joylessness of Slugs

You’re a slug

You’re cold

You’re tired

You’re hungry

You’ve just spent several days

getting from the hedge

to the paving stone

And you are exhausted

Your children are hungry

They were crying when you left them

And what do you want right now?

What would make it right?

Cat food

Some kindly soul

Or careless cat owner

Or overfed cat

has left some

delicious, mouthwatering cat food

with a side serving of beer

The beer was either left by the cat

Or by one of the tall beings

who had poured the liquid on the ground

by mistake

Anyway, this ‘beer’ you like, is right by you

You’ve caught the scent

you are down that route

Second wind

you have found the strength to sliver down thereabouts

You are onto it

Life is good suddenly

You get that sometimes don’t you?

You know, when you dare to think that life is good?

That maybe, just maybe, the powers that be might favour you?

Or that the wind has changed direction

And you are no longer the scapegoat

The cursed

The person for whom sods law was invented

No bad luck tonight though eh?

Tonight, lady luck shines on you

You can smell the cat food

in all its horsey meatiness

Oh and the beer, the sugary, yeasty, malty, nutritious beer

Let’s go!

A light in the kitchen

Floods the paving stone

As I take my fill

I feel grateful

You think a slug can’t feel grateful?

Well, I do.

I’ve been on my butt for days

Slivering along

It was never ending

I thought I would go mad

So exhausted

But now everything

Just everything is okay

The universe has blessed me for once

me, a lowly working slug

Now after eating and drinking at the door of this

warm generous host, I will have the energy and means to feed my babies

Oh, wait, what’s that?

A bright light at the end of a big steel phallus

And at the end of that

a human

With a packet of something

Looming face.

Long body, legs, arms

Packet upturned

White stuff coming out of it

Is it snow?

It’s coming down

Upon my body.

I stop eating the delicious nutritious cat-food

It…it burns, this snow

Should snow burn?

I look up at the human again

They are smiling

If they’re smiling

It must be okay

But oh, it’s burning

It’s burning so bad

And they’re watching,

Waiting

Looking at me

So creepy

Oh, it burns

It burns so

And then I see

I am turning to liquid

My body is…

Pooling like blood

Oh, what are you doing to me?

Don’t!

Stop!

Please!

I am losing sensation

I look up and they are pouring more

Of what I thought was snowflakes

But now I realise must be a terrible poison

I don’t feel so good

That grin

It’s inside of me

They are

So pleased for my pain

They are happy for it

I’ve never felt pain like this

Help me

It’s agony

I can hear myself scream

Can they hear it?

They are grinning again

Grinning into my soul

Pouring down the snowflakes

the snow keeps pouring down

on my delicate skin

My body is seared

the snow is like acid on my skin

My body is water

The humans are happy

My kids…

I will not see them again

and now the human’s grin

also burns into me

It burns

It burns…

The Joy of Nostalgia

Is the Joy of Nostalgia

Just a clean white curtain

On a dirty window

And if you were back there again

Would you hate it

With a bigger passion

Then the first time round

Or maybe it really was as good as it seemed

And the world got worse

And not better

And nostalgia is all

Some people will have

To keep them warm at night

But in the experiences of today

We can make the memories of tomorrow

And the Joy of Nostalgia

All over again.