The Joylessness of Slugs

You’re a slug

You’re cold

You’re tired

You’re hungry

You’ve just spent several days

getting from the hedge

to the paving stone

And you are exhausted

Your children are hungry

They were crying when you left them

And what do you want right now?

What would make it right?

Cat food

Some kindly soul

Or careless cat owner

Or overfed cat

has left some

delicious, mouthwatering cat food

with a side serving of beer

The beer was either left by the cat

Or by one of the tall beings

who had poured the liquid on the ground

by mistake

Anyway, this ‘beer’ you like, is right by you

You’ve caught the scent

you are down that route

Second wind

you have found the strength to sliver down thereabouts

You are onto it

Life is good suddenly

You get that sometimes don’t you?

You know, when you dare to think that life is good?

That maybe, just maybe, the powers that be might favour you?

Or that the wind has changed direction

And you are no longer the scapegoat

The cursed

The person for whom sods law was invented

No bad luck tonight though eh?

Tonight, lady luck shines on you

You can smell the cat food

in all its horsey meatiness

Oh and the beer, the sugary, yeasty, malty, nutritious beer

Let’s go!

A light in the kitchen

Floods the paving stone

As I take my fill

I feel grateful

You think a slug can’t feel grateful?

Well, I do.

I’ve been on my butt for days

Slivering along

It was never ending

I thought I would go mad

So exhausted

But now everything

Just everything is okay

The universe has blessed me for once

me, a lowly working slug

Now after eating and drinking at the door of this

warm generous host, I will have the energy and means to feed my babies

Oh, wait, what’s that?

A bright light at the end of a big steel phallus

And at the end of that

a human

With a packet of something

Looming face.

Long body, legs, arms

Packet upturned

White stuff coming out of it

Is it snow?

It’s coming down

Upon my body.

I stop eating the delicious nutritious cat-food

It…it burns, this snow

Should snow burn?

I look up at the human again

They are smiling

If they’re smiling

It must be okay

But oh, it’s burning

It’s burning so bad

And they’re watching,

Waiting

Looking at me

So creepy

Oh, it burns

It burns so

And then I see

I am turning to liquid

My body is…

Pooling like blood

Oh, what are you doing to me?

Don’t!

Stop!

Please!

I am losing sensation

I look up and they are pouring more

Of what I thought was snowflakes

But now I realise must be a terrible poison

I don’t feel so good

That grin

It’s inside of me

They are

So pleased for my pain

They are happy for it

I’ve never felt pain like this

Help me

It’s agony

I can hear myself scream

Can they hear it?

They are grinning again

Grinning into my soul

Pouring down the snowflakes

the snow keeps pouring down

on my delicate skin

My body is seared

the snow is like acid on my skin

My body is water

The humans are happy

My kids…

I will not see them again

and now the human’s grin

also burns into me

It burns

It burns…