‘Let every man be quick to listen,slow to speak and slow to anger.’
– James 1:19
But why is it so difficult to be slow to offend?
What open wounds
Exposed to hot knives
Have taken me there?
The bitter taste
of resentment
Still on my tongue
If pushing my buttons were a sport
I would lose every time.
Each imagined slight
Or real live betrayal
Has no sliver of light between them
They merge
And become one
And all the lines blur
It’s all very well
To advise
But when
that button is
so vunerable…
When it feels like everyone finds it
temptingly delicious to push…
I need to take responsibilty
For how I feel.
‘Human anger does not produce the righteousness
that God desires.’ – James 1:20
I need to understand why it feels how it feels.
It feels nasty, disconnected, like I’m outside myself.
Like I’m not there anymore.
‘Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in the mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.’
-James 1:23 -24
That’s exactly what it feels like!
Feelings of hurt and anger sometimes makes us feel disconnected.
They alienate us from our our basic selves. But wait a minute, I need hope that I can be slow to offend. Can you give me that?
‘Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.’ – James 1:4
I get it. Now there is understanding and hope for change.
But where is the unconditional love, where is the hug that I so desperately need?
‘If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.’
-James 1:5
And suddenly all the heat of the anger melts away and in its place is the warmth of the hug.
Things In My Head 