Author: Sue Young

The Joy of Subtitles

I used to think the joy of subtitles could only be enjoyed by three types of people

Those who are hard of hearing

Those who have varying degrees of audio processing disorder

And those who like French film noir

I discovered not many other people like them, unless it’s through necessity while watching foreign language movies but also because they distract from the movie they’re watching. I’ve always liked them and have very fond memories of them. Sometimes they stand out in my mind’s eye in favourite films more than the visuals. For me, it adds to the visuals immensely (not just because I’m hard of hearing and have a degree of audio dyslexia) but writing this, I’ve learned that I’m not alone in that thinking.

Lots of people like subtitles nowadays because a lot of actors mumble and you don’t have to be hard of hearing not to catch their words.

The very best thing about subtitles is, if you choose the hard of hearing option specifically on your DVD menu, rather than any other subtitle option, any song playing in the background, no matter if it’s below normal human hearing, will come up in the subtitles. Also whispers come up. So it’s also handy for people who have good, sharp hearing.

Also, any other noises will show up in the subtitles. Scoffing for instance. Scoffing always comes up in Netflix subtitles. He scoffed, she scoffed, they scoffed. I think that’s why I unsubscribed.

So the bottom line is, you tend to have a heads up, if you want a heads up, on everyone else who is watching the movie, in terms of knowledge, details, songs, whispers, scoffing, certainly more info, than if you don’t have subtitles. You never know, it might add more depth to the film. On the other hand, it might give you more knowledge than you desire and you may just want to watch the film without all that palaver.

Quote of the Week

‘Though the ostensible aim of the war was to protect the Turks in the Danube provinces from the invading Russians, the real object, frankly avowed in the Press, was to destroy Sebastopol and end Russian naval power in the Mediterranean.’

The Reason Why – Behind the Scenes at the Charge of The Light Brigade – Cecil Woodham Smith

The Joy of Muscle Rub

The joy of muscle rub is sometimes in the rubbing
And sometimes in the topical painkiller
And sometimes in the smell
And always in the heat
The killjoy of muscle rub is often in the neglect to wash
hands
after using, before touching sensitive parts of the body.

The Joy of Archimedes

(Illustration by Steve Young)

The joy of Archimedes was cut short
When he was summoned by Marcellus himself
A soldier was to take him to the general
The general was very taken with him
But Archimedes was deep in study
Writing on the tiles
His head buried in a project
He could not tear himself away
The joy of Archimedes was
solutions to his vexations
He was only happy when answers came
to all the puzzles of physics that plagued him
When he found answers, he was ecstatic
But this time, obsessiveness did not serve him well
When he refused to go
The soldier ran him through.

The Joy of Norman Battle Tactics

Norman battle tactics

Weren’t particularly kind

And weren’t very healthy

For body, soul and mind

While the archers could do range

The calvary got about

So the lance hit the spot

And the arrow took you out

To exhaust horses

English climb a hill

Weak trajectory of arrow

Might help them get a kill

Normans pretend to flee

English chase fast

But back on even land

And now armed, with just an axe…

…the injured go down

Destiny is soon found

As a hundred soldier hooves

Trample English to the ground

Harold and Co. ill prepared

So the Battle of Hastings goes

If only they had the longbow

To help ease all their woes

Viking settlers

And Franks agree

Winning battles

Is easy

Anglo-Saxon pain

And suffering for their boys

Could not take away

Norman Battle Tactic Joys